Just turn on the television, pick up a newspaper or listen to anyone’s conversation today and you’re bound to hear words like grief, depression, bereavement…tragic loss. 

When I first heard the news about the Virginia Tech massacre I was rounding in the hospital.  A nurse walked out of a patient’s room and told us in disbelief that more than 30 people were just shot and killed.  None of us could believe what she said and I had to hear and see for myself the horrible tragedy that occurred on Virginia Tech’s campus.  I stared in shock as the first news reports started to piece together the events of that fateful morning.

My heart went out to the family and friends who lost loved ones in that horrible tragedy.  One disturbed individual took the lives of 32 other innocent people…leaving hundreds and even millions of people in mourning, grieving for the loss of life, for the loss of freedom, for the loss of possibility….for the loss of their future…our future. 

How can we possibly go on with our lives without our loved ones, without the ones we’ve grown to count on for support, without their smile, their laugh, their hugs or their kisses to comfort us?  How can we finally accept the loss of a loved one?

I spent months studying “Death and Dying” during one of my semesters in undergrad understanding the stages of grief.  Trying to uncover and describe the progression of our grieving process…to help us understand our own natural response to grief and to find ways to help others cope with their loss.  We focused on the five cycles of grief described by Kubler-Ross—

I can only imagine the denial, the anger the family members of the Virginia Tech victims are experiencing this very minute.  How can you really understand the magnitude of their loss…that emptiness that now fills their hearts after one individual brutally destroyed their loved ones’ future? 

Knowing that the anger in their voice and in their hearts is a natural and expected part of their grieving process, we can help them along their journey with grief…helping them strive towards ultimate acceptance of their loss….and helping them find the way to ultimately live their life without their spouse…their son…their daughter….their parent…their loved one.

Grief, like love, is experienced differently by all of us.  Some of us come to accept our loss quickly, basically bypassing the four other steps of the grief cycle, while others never reach acceptance and become stuck in a pool of depression, unable to fully get through the grieving process. 

So as we offer comfort to the families of the Virginia Tech massacre victims and to other family and friends going through the grieving process, keep in mind the five stages of grief—denail, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance and let’s try our best to support and encourage our bereaved family and friends to continue to live for the moment…to continue to live…and live with the loss of our loved one. 

Dealing with grief is not an overnight process—it takes time…and the Health and Wellness Queen is here to give you the support and love you need to take the journey through grief….from the tears and the emptiness to the comfort of knowing that your loved ones are now in better place.  Letting go is part of the grief process and when the time has come for your grieving to be complete, reflect not only on the life that was lost but also on the life that was lived.  It will bring you comfort.

To your wellness,

The Health and Wellness Queen

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 19th, 2007 at 6:14 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.